Ever do that stupid thing when you ask yourself “How can this get any worse?” My brain delivers me 1000 ways things could be worse, I accept that they certainly can be, but I can’t seem to get myself out of that funk.
Wednesday cramping began to hit me like a freight train at work, what I can only assume is a cyst playing my insides like a piano or maybe it’s break dance month in there. I’ve done my lesson’s regarding taking strong pain killers at work. Never. Again.
Getting home after carrying the soccer match all afternoon, I decided to take some new off the shelf pain killers, they did the job, pain subsided and I was asleep for a few hours. Until I then woke up with a rash, and a fever due to a reaction.
After being in pain for three days on top of battling a fever and rash, all three have now subsided and agreed to give me back my body- pain free for now.
Got me thinking, being able to acknowledge someones pain is a really tough gig. I see all the little details in a persons face when I tell them I’m in pain. It’s always the same look, the rolling of the eyes, the brushing it off like I said nothing, the mentality that I am making it up. I am more than happy for those people to come into my home, and live with me on a crippling day.
I am so extremely over the back lash of being unwell, being made to feel like my condition doesn’t exist, or worse, my condition being compared to your aunties best friends brother’s cousin.
If you think you are sick of hearing about it, how the hell do you think I feel? My body is constantly battling itself, I am exhausted. I try plan things away from the start of my cycle as I know I will be bed ridden for a day or two.
The next time you roll your eyes at someone in pain, think about it, for my sake. The next time you want to have a dig or single out a the colleague for taking time off, leaving early or a friend for cancelling plans, think about what they go through daily, then think how bad the pain must be to not be able to get out of bed, to crawl to the bath to try ease some pain or not eat until someone is there because I can’t stand out of my bed let alone in the kitchen.
You can never grasp someone’s pain, I get that. But what you can do is acknowledge me. I don’t want sympathy, I want some level of understanding from you. I don’t want to be ignored, nor do I deserve to be.
I would love to be a pain free functional adult. But I’m not. This is my normal, all you can do is support me without judgement.